I’m more than a little disappointed in myself that I don’t feel I have anything to write a blog about. It’s been like that for two weeks now and I’m seriously wondering whether I have anything to say. Paradoxically, I know that this isn’t true because I always have something to say!
So, I can only put it down to my mind being elsewhere lately. Or maybe I have so much that I want to say that I’m suffering from a bad case of not-knowing-what-to-write-about-first.
Rather than waffle on about something that may well prove to be boring or inconsequential I think I’ll just tell you about something that I’ve added to my morning routine; I’ve started meditating again; seriously and enthusiastically this time.
“That’s no great shakes” I hear you say. “Loads of people meditate” you add.
And you’re quite right, they do and it’s no big deal that I’ve rejoined the band; but then again, meditation IS a big deal. A very big and worthwhile deal.
My interest was piqued again when I picked up “The Secrets of Meditation” by davidji; a man whose voice you could drown in and who understands just how difficult meditation is in a world where there is so much needless pressure to perform meaningless tasks or to live up to unreasonable heights of attainment in futile corporateness.
Having meditated this morning for 15 minutes and then again for a 30-minute session later in the day (with my cat providing the soothing backdrop of her purring) I’ve become aware of a couple of failings of mine that I would really like to address. I’ve known about them for a while but today they seem more important to overcome and I have a knowing that I can do so with loving-kindness. And that’s the big deal; the acknowledgement of these failings of mine tempered by the knowledge that I can do something about them now and not have to beat myself up about having them in the first place or berate myself that it’s taken me so long to recognise them.
Let’s see if I can do this – all I need is the faith in myself and to trust. Oh! is that all?
xx ♥ xx